Kiss, Kiss (Hiatus)
by Monkey and Cookee
Summary: Sasuke's quick to turn Sakura down, but what if Naruto asked him out? He'd make fun of him of course. SasuNaru AU oneshot -C.


**Disclaimer: I/We do not own Naruto.**

**Note: AU**

**Kiss Kiss**

**Oneshot**

"Hypothetically," Naruto started while chewing obnoxiously on a piece of gum, "would you date Sakura?"

"Hypothetically," Sasuke mocked, "would you date me?"

"Ew! Sasuke, what's your problem?" Naruto cried as chills spread throughout his body. "I was just... wondering, because Sakura, she, well..."

"She likes me." It wasn't a question. Sasuke knew. How could he not? He could feel those green eyes watch him wherever he went. He could even hear her scream whenever he had to change in the locker room for P.E. How she managed to see him was beyond his imagination though.

Naruto grunted, scribbling nonsense on a piece of lined paper initally meant for an essay. His blue eyes caught sight of Sasuke's hand writing elegantly on his own paper, already halfway through his assignment with words that made absolutely no sense to Naruto. The blonde wondered how he even managed to become Sasuke's friend. By all rights, he should have started a full-scale war against him.

Sakura likes him. He has a gorgeous face. His eyes are amazing. He's so smart he could probably graduate already. Not to mention _that face_.

Naruto blinked. Okay, so he admired Sasuke's face. He didn't like him. Well, that's what he liked to tell himself. If Sasuke ever found out he had it out for him, he'd never be able to live it down.

"What are you looking at?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

Naruto stared at him for a bit, admiring the annoyance on his face. "Your ugly face."

"Tch. If this is ugly, then yours must be—"

"Morning, guys!" Called Sakura in a sing-song voice as she approached the raven's desk. She pushed Naruto over lightly, making room enough for the both of them to face Sasuke on the opposite side of the desk. "Eh? Sasuke didn't do the homework last night?"

"Naruto kept me up." Sasuke didn't bother to lift his head up from his paper and instead continued to write down some half-assed, but grade-A crap to turn in.

Naruto slammed his hand on the desk, momentarily shocking Sasuke into a frozen position. "Hey, if you wanted to stop, you could have just told me!"

"You wouldn't let me." Sasuke sighed and set his pencil down to watch Naruto tiredly. "You kept saying 'Sasuke, Sasuke, don't leave me! It's painful!'"

Sakura's face reddened as she glued her eyes to the desk and busied herself with following the lines of the wooden desk.

"Don't say it like that!" Naruto threw his hands in the air in exasperation, but fell face first onto the desk in defeat. "I was talking about the math homework, Sakura. _I swear. _Don't listen to this guy!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, frowning, and returned to his assignment.

"Sasuke, I've been meaning to ask," Sakura finally raised her head to meet Sasuke's eyes. "I... Well." Her hand subconsciously reached for Naruto's hand and once she found it, she held onto it, squeezing it tightly. Sasuke's couldn't see it.

Naruto's eyes widened. "Sakura...?" He asked, hoping that she'd say something like, 'Sasuke, I'm going to date Naruto! Please support us!' In their little trio, that pairing would make the most sense, wouldn't it? Yes! Yes, it would! Naruto cheered, already mentally dancing for unsaid news.

Sasuke observed Naruto's happy expression, but kept his own blank.

"Would you go out with me?"

"No."

xxx

Naruto screamed indecipherable swears into the night sky, throwing a rock at Sasuke after every long-winded threat to the divinities above. He hated how calm this guy was. He hated how he's turned down Sakura for the _second time_ already, and both times without hesitation. He hated how even after both times, Sakura still sees only this guy.

But what he hated the most was that he couldn't hate this guy's company to save his life.

"Tell me again why we're at the park," Sasuke sighed, "if all you're going to do is swear in front of me and throw rocks?"

"Because you're a jerk."

"...You're smart."

"Why won't you just go out with Sakura?"

"Why won't you just go out with me?"

"Stop mocking me."

Sasuke chuckled at their routine banter. He rearranged his position on the grass and fell onto his back, eyes searching the starlit skies. "I don't like Sakura." He said after a moment of silence. "Not in that way." In fact, he knew this so surely that he never had to think about what kind of answer he would give her. But if someone else had asked him. If _that person_ asked him, then he wouldn't know what he'd do. He'd hesitate at least, that's for sure.

He's a teen. Questioning his sexuality was normal, right? But then why did he feel guilty every time he looked at that person?

Probably because he's basically stolen that person's first love by just living.

Naruto copied Sasuke, laying down next to the raven with less finesse than the other.

"You're an idiot." Sasuke stated, turning onto his side with Naruto at his back.

Naruto jumped from his position, pulling Sasuke back into his original position in the same motion. "What's your problem, Sasuke? Isn't enough that you've taken Sakura away from me?"

"No." Sasuke replied, pulling Naruto down angrily. "It's not. I won't stop. Not until everything is ruined."

"Why, Sasuke? Do you hate me that much?"

"You can either be the hero who rises above the influence," Sasuke growled before pushing Naruto off and straddling the blonde's hips, his lips mere inches away from the other's, "or be the loser who falls prey to my corruption." The Uchiha leaned down to steal a kiss, a sweet, terrible, honest kiss. He pressed his temple against the side of Naruto's head, whispering into his ear with a light chuckle, "You're such a loser, Naruto."

Sasuke refused to move from his position and only buried his face into the crook of Naruto's neck.

"So which is it? Will you deny me?"

xxx

"Naruto." Sakura called Naruto out into the hallway, leaving Sasuke behind in the classroom. Her eyes had furrowed and a sharp line creased her forehead. "I heard something happened last night. Between you and Sasuke."

Naruto nearly died then, his heart fell to his stomach and for once, the loud-mouthed blonde was out of words.

"Did he say something about me?" Sakura asked, throwing in more questions of the like: typical girl questions wondering about the guy they like. "Has he changed his mind? Does he hate me? What? What? Naruto, he must have said something about me!"

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "W-Well... He did say something."

"Yes?" Sakura asked eagerly, eyes widening with each passing second. "Tell me already!"

"Sa-Sasuke said..." Naruto fidgeted nervously for a while, jumping when said teen opened the door with an annoyed expression. "Sasuke! We were just, uhm, talking about having a date after school! I don't think we'll be able to walk home with you after class." The blonde watched the other boy's expression, scrutinizing every movement in hopes of truly bothering the boy.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and smirked. "That's fine. I have a date anyhow."

Naruto and Sakura froze completely, eyes wide with horror and jaws dropping to the floor.

"Sasuke, will you be ready for today?" Asked a rather pale boy as he approached Sasuke, a genuine smile upon his features.

"Yeah. I'll wait for you at the gate, Sai." Sasuke replied as he walked off with the other boy, starting another conversation that neither Sakura nor Naruto cared to hear.

"Sasuke is..." Sakura paled as the truth sunk in. "_gay."_

"Who the hell is that?" Naruto cried. "Who the hell does he think he is, stealing Sasuke away like that? That bastard!" The blonde was forced to stop in his curses when Sakura doubled over, fainting without warning. "Eh? Sakura? Hey! Sasuke, you bastard!"

"Why are they so freaked out, Sasuke?" Sai questioned, sending a worried glance behind them.

"They think you're going out with me." Sasuke responded with a sly smile.

"What?" Sai cried in horror. "But I don't swing that way!"

"No, but you look it." Sasuke snickered as Sai sent him a dirty glare. "Just keep walking."

xxx

**Cookee: Eh. I didn't know how else to write this story. Well, I probably did, but this is what came out instead. **

**This oneshot is a response to the SasuSaku fandom. I don't understand that either. ._.; Sasuke has literally tried to kill her without hesitation twice, but when it comes to Naruto, he has to really contemplate it before acting. (Although that could partly be because of the whole "kill your best friend and gain power" crap Itachi once said to him.)**

**I don't really like this story. Too much dialogue. D; But whatever. What's done is done lol and I don't wanna study for midterms.**


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